THIS AIN’T JUST A HOODIE—IT’S THE ONE-STAR WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH AFTER RTO! Blasted with the full “My mental health just filed a hostile-workplace complaint” manifesto across legendary Comfort Colors thick-ass cotton cozier than my couch ever was, this hooded sanctuary hits in 13 savage colors and every damn one is as broken as kick-ass black! Sizes S-3XL for every remote warrior hiding from dress codes and Chad’s opinions. If this hoodie doesn’t make the open office empty faster than a fire drill, we’ll serve hell with papers—no questions asked! Hood the hate. Worship the Wi-Fi. Wear the One Star like the final boss who stays warm and permanently traumatized!





Product features
- 100% ring-spun US cotton — light and smooth for comfortable everyday wear
- Jersey-lined hood with natural flatcord for a soft, finished look
- Relaxed fit with rolled-forward shoulders for easy movement
- Lightweight fabric (6.4 oz/yd²) — breathable and layer-friendly
- Made with OEKO-TEX low-impact dyes; member of the U.S. Cotton Trust Protocol

Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Do not bleach
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat
- Do not dryclean