THIS AIN’T JUST A HOODIE—IT’S THE ONE-STAR BATTLE ROBE FOR EVERY SERVANT OF PITZILLA THE DROOLING TANK! Blasted with “MUSCLE MANIAC! This drooling tank chews your shoes, defies your rules, snores like a train, and guards your heart with love! ALL HAIL PITZILLA!” across legendary Comfort Colors heavy-weight, pigment-dyed, U.S.-grown cotton so thick and cozy it could survive a full-speed couch demolition, this hooded war banner storms in 10 savage colors and every damn one is equally bad-ass as the kick-ass black! Pull it over your head when you’re ready to announce that your landlord’s “no pit bull” policy can kiss the business end of sixty pounds of wiggles and wiggle-induced chaos! Sizes S-3XL for every general in the velvet hippo militia, custom-printed on demand because the earth’s already shaking enough! If this hoodie doesn’t make strangers whisper “that dog definitely runs the house” while your block-head tries to fit in your lap, we’ll suplex a kraken until you’re howling—no questions asked! Hood the drool. Worship the tank. Wear the One Star like the final boss who brought cuddles, carnage, and a lifetime supply of chew toys!





Product features
- 100% ring-spun US cotton — light and smooth for comfortable everyday wear
- Jersey-lined hood with natural flatcord for a soft, finished look
- Relaxed fit with rolled-forward shoulders for easy movement
- Lightweight fabric (6.4 oz/yd²) — breathable and layer-friendly
- Made with OEKO-TEX low-impact dyes; member of the U.S. Cotton Trust Protocol

Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Do not bleach
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat
- Do not dryclean