THIS AIN’T JUST A HOODIE—IT’S THE ONE-STAR TOASTER-WORSHIPPER CLOAK FOR EVERYONE OFFICIALLY DATING KITCHEN APPLIANCES! Blasted with the full “I’d rather talk to my toaster” manifesto across legendary Comfort Colors thick-ass cotton cozier than any human hug ever was, this hooded sanctuary hits in 13 savage colors and every damn one is as bitter as kick-ass black! Sizes S-3XL for every champion who wants to stay warm while humanity reeks itself into oblivion. If this hoodie doesn’t make people suddenly discover deodorant, we’ll pop-up hell’s breakfast—no questions asked! Hood the hate. Worship the wattage. Wear the One Star like the final boss wrapped in pure, onion-free warmth!





Product features
- 100% ring-spun US cotton — light and smooth for comfortable everyday wear
- Jersey-lined hood with natural flatcord for a soft, finished look
- Relaxed fit with rolled-forward shoulders for easy movement
- Lightweight fabric (6.4 oz/yd²) — breathable and layer-friendly
- Made with OEKO-TEX low-impact dyes; member of the U.S. Cotton Trust Protocol

Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Do not bleach
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat
- Do not dryclean