THIS AIN’T JUST A HOODIE—IT’S THE ONE-STAR HUMAN GAS MASK FOR EVERY POOR BASTARD STILL PAYING $50 A NIGHT TO BREATHE HOOKER FUMES AND CRY! Blasted with the full “RESORT FEES CAN SUCK MY SWEATY ASSCRACK” manifesto across legendary Comfort Colors thick-ass cotton cozier than the lie they sold you about “luxury,” this hooded trauma blanket hits in 13 savage colors and every damn one is as pissed as kick-ass black! Sizes S-3XL for every soul currently eating ramen because Caesars needed new marble, custom-printed on demand because dignity checked out with the resort fee! If this hoodie doesn’t make the entire lobby apologize for existing, we’ll crank hell’s AC to “resort fee” levels until you’re grinning—no questions asked! Hood the heist. Worship the hate. Wear the One Star like the final boss who stays warm wrapped in pure, taint-flavored vengeance!
 
 





Product features
- 100% ring-spun US cotton — light and smooth for comfortable everyday wear
- Jersey-lined hood with natural flatcord for a soft, finished look
- Relaxed fit with rolled-forward shoulders for easy movement
- Lightweight fabric (6.4 oz/yd²) — breathable and layer-friendly
- Made with OEKO-TEX low-impact dyes; member of the U.S. Cotton Trust Protocol

Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Do not bleach
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat
- Do not dryclean