THIS AIN’T JUST A HOODIE—IT’S THE ONE-STAR HUMAN CRYOPOD FOR EVERYONE STILL FROZEN IN MONORAIL DRUNK-SNAIL TRAUMA! Blasted with the entire “THE MONORAIL THAT COSTS $15 AND MOVES LIKE A DRUNK SNAIL” takedown across legendary Comfort Colors thick-ass cotton cozier than the lie about “convenient transit,” this hooded war zone hits in 13 savage colors and every damn one is as broke and bitter as kick-ass black! Sizes S-3XL for every soul who paid $15 to go 2 mph while sober people lapped them on foot, custom-printed on demand because the only thing moving fast was your money leaving! If this hoodie doesn’t make the whole platform empty when you board, we’ll stall hell’s engine until you’re grinning—no questions asked! Hood the heist. Worship the hate. Wear the One Star like the final boss who stays warm wrapped in pure, glacial-paced fury!
 




 
 

Product features
- 100% ring-spun US cotton — light and smooth for comfortable everyday wear
- Jersey-lined hood with natural flatcord for a soft, finished look
- Relaxed fit with rolled-forward shoulders for easy movement
- Lightweight fabric (6.4 oz/yd²) — breathable and layer-friendly
- Made with OEKO-TEX low-impact dyes; member of the U.S. Cotton Trust Protocol

Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Do not bleach
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat
- Do not dryclean