THIS AIN’T JUST A LONG SLEEVE—IT’S SWEAT-WICKING ARMOR FOR EVERY MONORAIL HOSTAGE STILL TRAUMATIZED BY THE DRUNK-SNAIL PACE! Blasted with the full “THE MONORAIL THAT COSTS $15 AND MOVES LIKE A DRUNK SNAIL” felony across legendary Comfort Colors heavy-weight cotton that survived the crying gamblers and $30 cocktail spills, this long-sleeve atrocity storms in 13 savage colors and every one moves slower than kick-ass black! Sizes S-3XL for every victim who aged ten years between MGM and Sahara, custom-printed on demand because Uber called and laughed! If these sleeves don’t make tourists choose shank’s pony instead, we’ll hotbox hell’s slow lane until you’re cackling—no questions asked! Sleeve the scam. Survive the snail. Wear the One Star like the final boss who brought sleeves and a death march!
Product features
- 100% ring-spun cotton — smooth, strong fabric suited for printing
- Garment-dyed construction for soft color and lived-in texture
- Double-needle sleeve and bottom hems for long-lasting durability
- Ribbed-knit cuffs and neck/shoulder tape to retain shape and prevent stretching
- Medium weight (6.1 oz/yd²) with classic fit and sewn-in twill label

Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Do not bleach
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat
- Do not dryclean