THIS AIN’T JUST A HOODIE—IT’S THE ONE-STAR HUMAN SAUNA FOR EVERY $400 HALLWAY SURVIVOR STILL SWEATING OUT LAST NIGHT’S BAD DECISIONS! Blasted with the entire “$400 “CLUB” ENTRY JUST TO STAND IN A SWEATY HALLWAY” blood oath across legendary Comfort Colors thick-ass cotton cozier than the folding table next to the pisser ever was, this hooded trauma blanket hits in 13 savage colors and every damn one is as sticky as kick-ass black! Sizes S-3XL for every soul who paid a mortgage to stand in human soup, custom-printed on demand because self-respect checked out at the door! If this hoodie doesn’t make promoters spontaneously combust, we’ll crop-dust hell’s dance floor until you’re grinning—no questions asked! Hood the heist. Worship the hustle. Wear the One Star like the final boss who stays warm wrapped in pure bottle-service betrayal!
 
 





Product features
- 100% ring-spun US cotton — light and smooth for comfortable everyday wear
- Jersey-lined hood with natural flatcord for a soft, finished look
- Relaxed fit with rolled-forward shoulders for easy movement
- Lightweight fabric (6.4 oz/yd²) — breathable and layer-friendly
- Made with OEKO-TEX low-impact dyes; member of the U.S. Cotton Trust Protocol

Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Do not bleach
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat
- Do not dryclean