HIS AIN’T JUST A HOODIE—IT’S THE ONE-STAR HAZMAT ONESIE FOR FRENCHIE FART HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS! Blasted with “This bat-eared, squach-faced gremlin is a FARTING FREIGHT TRAIN of love and destruction with vet bills from Hades!” across legendary Comfort Colors thick-ass cotton so cozy it almost masks the war crimes happening under the blanket, this hooded fallout shelter storms in 13 savage colors and every single one is equally toxic as kick-ass black! Sizes S-3XL for every walking bio-weapon handler, custom-printed on demand because global warming needed help! If this hoodie doesn’t clear rooms faster than your gremlin’s ass, we’ll Dutch-oven the devil until you’re grinning—no questions asked! Hood the horror. Worship the freight train. Wear the One Star like the final boss who stays warm in a cloud of pure love and sulfur!





Product features
- 100% ring-spun US cotton — light and smooth for comfortable everyday wear
- Jersey-lined hood with natural flatcord for a soft, finished look
- Relaxed fit with rolled-forward shoulders for easy movement
- Lightweight fabric (6.4 oz/yd²) — breathable and layer-friendly
- Made with OEKO-TEX low-impact dyes; member of the U.S. Cotton Trust Protocol

Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Do not bleach
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat
- Do not dryclean